APATHY FEELS AWESOME

or How To Do Nothing and Lose Everything

I took two giant steps and then decided to just give up.

I bounced around 60 feet down.
Then bounced again at around the 40 foot mark.

I came to a sudden and, let’s be honest, expected but still surprising stop when my skull crashed into some large rocks ripping open the skin on the left side of me face from my eyebrow to my lips and my left shoulder clavicle bone snapped like twig.

My girlfriend at the time raced to my side and promptly puked when I turned over to tell her I was okay and she could see my exposed skull.

It wasn’t fun.

If I had paid more attention previous to my unintentional cliff dive, I would have known to lean in to the cliff’s steep incline instead of trying to outrun gravity.

Note: It’s very difficult to outrun gravity. This is why you never see skydivers taking off their parachutes before jumping out of a plane and saying “I think I’ll just jog down.”

Falling off a cliff hurt. For weeks. And involved some plastic surgery on my face (yes, yes… “and this is the one you chose?!”).

But you know what felt good?

Actually, no… you know what felt AWESOME?

The moment I decided to stop trying to change the outcome of my situation.

I took that last huge step and decided to just clock-out.

That felt amazing.
Until the rocks.
Then it felt quite sore.
Then my summer was ruined (I was 19).
Then I had to work hard to get back to where I was before I chose apathy.

But until that awful part, choosing apathy felt awesome.
Like… REALLY awesome.

When I see low voter turnouts…
or hear people saying “I don’t pay attention to the news”…
or when I encounter those who say “I’m not interested in politics”…
I’m reminded of that flash moment of seemingly freebased apathy on the cliff.

Now sometimes, to be fair, you’re just screwed.
The situation’s outcome is evident and inevitable.
Like me on the cliff.
By the time I’d decided to become apathetic to the situation, there was very little I could do to change the outcome.

But… sometimes you CAN change the outcome and maybe you shouldn’t give in to apathy.

People assume that apathy is akin to being lazy. I think it can be but I also think it’s highly addictive.

Apathy seems to operate best from a position of privilege. A position of “whatever happens I’ll be fine”.

One of the weird things about falling off that cliff (70’ in total btw) was that the doctor told me afterwards that for a while after my recovery I may get a weird sense of vertigo or even… temptation (!) at a precipice. Like at the top of the stairs, on a roof, or on a ladder.

And he was right. It was SUPER weird.
That pull to just let the fates/gods/winds decide is pretty goddamn tempting… but then I remember the rocks… and the whole pain thing.

Now, of course, you can’t concern yourself with everything. You need to set boundaries for your own well-being.

However, you also need to be aware of when choosing apathy might NOT be for your own well-being. Immediately, or in the long run.

Don’t ignore what’s happening around you.
Think about the trade off you make when you choose apathy.
It might feel good at first but not so great later.

###

(Pictured: Author looks smug as if to claim victory twenty years later in 2010 while standing in front of now overgrown and MUCH MUCH less steep (honest) former cliff)

---

Thank you very much for subscribing and supporting!
Hey, why not buy something from our merch site?
We have some great stuff on offer like our Made in Canada Classic Hoodie
PeaceLoveCanada.ca